This is my ass.
For the last ten or so years every form of mass media has told me that this is not only the best way of measuring my worth as a Black woman, its also innately low class while being the only reason any man would put up with me.
My Black ass, a gift and a curse.
When I was growing up the worst slight a boy could hurl was that you had a “white girl ass”. Of course most of those same boys went home and fantasized about white porn stars or had Carmen Electra hanging in their locker.
It was always funny to me that the Black boys I went to church with mocked me for having no ass while the White and Asian boys at school acted like I had a Buick in my pants.
When I first started dancing my main draw was my agile booty, after years of dancehall dancing I could isolate and oscillate my ass like programmed machine. While I never felt ashamed doing that on stage, when a Korean boyfriend asked me to shake my ass like a Black girl for him it left me feeling some type a way. Did he look at me and see just a big black booty?
While most people can say that American Black culture has always had a boner for a shapely woman it only in the last decade or so where it reached fever pitch. Women are not only dying for a big butt, but also disfiguring themselves.
Hot shit NOT found here.
I resent the fact that the complex and highly nuanced beauty of all women from the African Diaspora has been boiled down too just ass. Even more disturbingly some women rush to embrace this like it’s a badge of honor. Everyone has an ass. EVERYONE.
Black women were celebrating their booties for centuries but the American mainstream only started to take notice when J.lo , Vida Guerra and other Latinas gained popularity during the “Latin Explosion”. So really if Black women were only good for asses, but the asses of a light skinned Latina is “the best ass” Where does that leave black women?
It leaves us exactly where we started, grasping for appreciation for something, ANYTHING. The sad thing is , we are more than the sum of our parts, deeper than skin tone and should not be defined by the texture of our hair.
So if you tell me you love Black women you better prove to me that this thickness isn’t the only thing you see.
I’ve had a couple black girlfriends who’ve had similar issues, with their black peers gleefully referring to them as “thick” and everyone else labelling them “fat”, or “big” when trying to be polite. What sucks the most is that no matter how much I told either of them how attractive I found them, large booty or teeny tushy, they never seemed to believe me. I commend you for the article, N’Jaila. Very well written and personal.
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if not ass, it’s obession about boobs, or thinness. let’s face it, far more women have died from botched breat implants or starve themselves to death. and let’s not forget the men that try to live up to a caricuture version of masculinity by pumping irons 25 hr a day and inject themselves with steriods. i don’t see us evolving pass stupidities like these. the lizard brain will always be part of us. the best we can hope for is not to let it rule us completely. so if your boyfriend nicely asks you to shack your booties for him in private, indulge him, let your lizard brain take over for just a little while. as long as you are making progress in your life, as long as you know your inner worth, and let him know it too, i think you’ll be alright.
Really nice article you have there, nice photo though. Thanks for sharing
Another powerful article. I fell first for your writing, and although I like your ass (and the rest of your damn fine body), it’s your writing, your brain and your spirit that I’m in awe of. <3