{"id":324,"date":"2010-01-23T23:45:04","date_gmt":"2010-01-24T03:45:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=324"},"modified":"2025-10-09T21:01:00","modified_gmt":"2011-04-11T15:02:33","slug":"things-i-learned-in-college-how-to-pack-a-hobag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=324","title":{"rendered":"10 Things You Need to Pack a “Ho”Bag."},"content":{"rendered":"
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This week my younger cousin moved into her first dorm. \u00a0As I sat in the car with her, she asked me to share with her the most important thing I learned in college. \u00a0A few things were running in my mind as a took a pause to think. \u00a0She then\u00a0amended\u00a0her question to “what’s the most useful<\/em> thing you learned in college?”<\/p>\n

Without hesitation I answered. \u00a0“What to put in your ho bag.”<\/p>\n

What is a ho bag , you ask? \u00a0 Ever gone to a club and seen chicks with those big ass purses and you can’t for the life of you think as to why they would bother with such cumbersome loads in a crowed ass club. \u00a0Those women are planing on being ho’s for the night. Those \u00a0satchels\u00a0will see them through to the next morning. \u00a0 It not just for clubs, or the random hook up its a college essential!<\/p>\n

If there is one time in one’s life when they can act bat-shit stupid and get away with it, its college. \u00a0Let’s face it the only\u00a0difference\u00a0between college and Vegas is that in college the \u00a0sex is free.<\/p>\n

10 things essential to the hit-it-and-quit-it lifestyle of today’s coed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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NO GLOVE NO LOVE<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

1. CONDOMS<\/p>\n

In 2010 there is no reason for a woman NOT to have them on her person. Its not up to the man to keep you from getting knocked up or \u00a0chock full of herpes. \u00a0If you have condoms on you that gives Romeo no excuse \u00a0not to use one. In most cities you can even get them for free. \u00a0So there’s no excuse for not having them. Also you should never let a dude use a toy on you without covering it with a condom. You know where its been? Do you really want that in you without protection?<\/p>\n

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My password was "Nuvo"<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

2. Extra Panties<\/p>\n

Because sometimes your draws won’t survive the night. \u00a0If you don’t have time to figure out where you put them an extra comfy pair tucked into your bag can be a lifesaver. \u00a0Why make the walk of shame feel even more weird\u00a0because\u00a0you have to walk back “comando” in tight jeans?<\/p>\n

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this tooth is naughty and he knows you like it. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. Tooth brush\/gum\/ mouthwash<\/p>\n

You’ve just had a night of all sorts of wrong in your mouth, you may or not have been drunk. How drunk were you? Did you give this virtual stranger a condom-less blow job? Or worst yet were you ass-to-mouth drunk? \u00a0Since you can’t remember it will make the mood of the train ride home less grave if you give your mouth a good swish\/wash as soon as humanly possible.<\/p>\n

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Let's not be funky after getting funky. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

4. De-funk-fiers<\/p>\n

I always carry with me Some Dove travel size\u00a0deodorant\u00a0and \u00a0Dove Go Fresh body mist. \u00a0If you are lucky enough to find a guy with a shower that \u00a0doesn’t look like a petri dish , \u00a0post coital shower is always a must. \u00a0 Just because you want to bask in the afterglow doesn’t mean that people around you want to smell it . Do everyone on \u00a0the bus a favor .<\/p>\n

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It's never classy to be ashy. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

5. Lotion<\/p>\n

It may come as a shock to most ladies, but \u00a0the vast majority of men do not see the importance of\u00a0moisturizers. Sometimes you might luck out with a dark chocolate brother that might have some Queen Helene under the counter, but your best bet is to just carry your own.<\/p>\n

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\"money\"<\/a><\/p>\n

6. Money \/ Metro Card\/ Bus Pass<\/p>\n

For the times were you literally have to make a run for it, don’t depend on the guy to provide you a way home. \u00a0Hell he most likely won’t remember how your ass got there in the first place. \u00a0Make sure you can always get home safely by yourself. I always have a just in case 50 dollar bill. \u00a0Some cabs don’t take cards. Always have just in case money stashed in a place where a thief won’t look.<\/p>\n

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7. Wipes<\/p>\n

Because that after booty shower might not be possible. \u00a0I have a travel sized pack of baby wipes. I also have some cleaning wipes handy because some dudes don’t know how to clean a\u00a0toilet\u00a0seat.<\/p>\n

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\"pocket
buzzzz<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

8. \u00a0Pocket Rocket<\/p>\n

Really any portable vibrator ,\u00a0preferable\u00a0one that’s quiet like the from Lelo toys. Why should this be in your Ho bag? It’s simple, the best sex you will have will be with a man that you have a connection with. \u00a0In the cases that your ho bag will be used for the post frat party hook up, chances are this guy will be doing the moves that got his last girl off and not you. \u00a0Having a small and easy to conceal toy can insure that you’ll cum. Maybe you can show the guy how to use it, or \u00a0do it the bathroom while he’s sleeping.<\/p>\n

\"water\"<\/p>\n

9. Water<\/p>\n

Another no brain-er, this is your just in case I drink a bit to much thirst quencher. I like Arrowhead Aquapods<\/a>\"\" because they are tiny and easy to pack without adding bulk to your bag. \u00a0If your bag has black or dark lining the water will even stay cool , even in the summer. \u00a0 The best way to avoid a hangover is to keep yourself from being dehydrated. So if you were less than responsible while you were drinking a nice cool drink will make that headache a little less severe. \u00a0 Also, what else are you going to take that morning after pill with?<\/p>\n

10. Brush \/ Make- Up<\/p>\n

It may sound vain, but the walk of shame is only shameful if you LOOK like you’ve just been fucking in a strange place. If you have time to put yourself together make sure you have the tools to make yourself presentable in the morning.<\/p>\n

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There you have it, the ten items that should be in ever bag if you are expecting some booty and are away from home. \u00a0Now go forth and \u00a0boink!<\/p>\n\n

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