{"id":3380,"date":"2013-12-29T15:46:58","date_gmt":"2013-12-29T20:46:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=3380"},"modified":"2013-12-30T11:35:49","modified_gmt":"2013-12-30T16:35:49","slug":"go-fuck-yourself-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=3380","title":{"rendered":"Go Fuck Yourself 2013."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Go Away 2013, no one likes you.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

2013 was a bag dicks. If 2013 was a frail old man I would gently push him so he would fall down, while he was on the ground I would glare at him as a poked him with a blunt stick. \u00a02013 for me was the human experience equivalent of Drake’s eyebrows. \u00a0You might have gathered from the whopping 10 posts I made all year that shit was somewhat real for me this year. 2013 taught me that yes, failure is an option.<\/p>\n

Don’t get my wrong there were a lot of amazing experiences for me this year. I got to do things that I never in my wildest dreams thought would ever happen. \u00a0I started the amazing TWIB After Dark with Feminista Jones<\/a> – whom my older readers might remember was the first blogger I ever added to my blog roll. \u00a0I had the opportunity to not only meet Buck Angel who was a huge inspiration to me but speak on a panel with him Kelly Shibari, Lady Cheeky and Cathy\u00a0Vartuli. \u00a0I got to do seminars and panels at Catalyst Con and Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom summit and I would not trade those great experiences for anything in the world. \u00a0I just wish I could have fully enjoyed them.<\/p>\n

I tried my hand at being “vanilla” and I kinda failed , and not at all for the reasons I would have guessed. I was laid off from my vanilla job in April, which gave me the opportunity to grow with TWIB.FM and then I got a dream position at another firm. The day before my birthday I lost that too. \u00a0It wasn’t because they found out I was a former dancer, a cam model or an adult blogger. It just didn’t work out.<\/p>\n

I kept so much bottled up and didn’t write out of the fear that what my passions are would keep me from getting and maintaining a vanilla job. Turns out my whore ass ways can have no bearing on losing a vanilla job because I could just suck. I can fail and it can be spectacular. My entire adult life I harbored so much fear of failing at anything at all that I pulled myself back. \u00a0No year in recent memory have I ever been so altruistically\u00a0unhappy with absolutely no pay off. I tried to save a mentally ill family member –\u00a0failed. \u00a0I got a position in my dream company – gone. \u00a0Mom wanted me to get married well ended two-year-soul-sucking relationshit. Also the almost complete emotional withdrawal alienated me from most of my friends and loved ones. \u00a0I was just fuckin up in everything, I can really only boast that 2013 was a year that I kept my cat alive and didn’t lose any major limbs or organs.<\/p>\n

In all this at least I can say is. “I’m Back!”. \u00a0What’s the use of playing the losing game of respectability politics when you can’t enjoy winning? \u00a0So, here I am – come what may, I’ll be writing , reviewing, laughing, climaxing, crying, sharing ,questioning and discovering with all of you.<\/p>\n

I know this post was heavier than what I’m used to posting so I promise the next one will be so fluffy you’ll have so stop your phone from floating into the clouds. ^_~<\/p>\n\n

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