{"id":3388,"date":"2013-12-31T03:43:41","date_gmt":"2013-12-31T08:43:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=3388"},"modified":"2013-12-31T09:04:33","modified_gmt":"2013-12-31T14:04:33","slug":"beyonce-cums-fancy-as-expected","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=3388","title":{"rendered":"Beyonc\u00e9 Cums Fancy, as Expected."},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"This<\/a>
This isn’t another Beyonc\u00e9 think piece, it’s a thinly veiled excuse to think about expensive things sliding in and out of Beyonc\u00e9.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Folks are clutching their pearls after married adult Beyonc\u00e9\u00a0allegedly spent over $6,000\u00a0USD on Boxing Day at sex shop Babeland New York. \u00a0Let me tell you, its REALLY easy to drop term bill or two there. Personally I love Babeland, they’re the only brick and mortar sex shop I recommend in my area, I also know that while welcoming to beginners it’s a candy shop for those of us with genitals that require nothing but the best.<\/p>\n

As I wrote before every industry has its luxury items<\/a>, sex toys are no different. If you’re Beyonc\u00e9 are you going to settle for Kia Sport of vibrators or an Ashton Martin? \u00a0Exactly. How far could six grand take you? Well the express lane, I’m talking maybe 10 items or less. Here’s 3 dream baskets for Mrs and Mr. Carter Knowles.<\/p>\n

Basket 1 – The double stimulation bundle<\/h3>\n

\"StarwarLOL036\"<\/a>Lelo Yva in Silver<\/span> – this small ultra powerful, ultra quiet clitoral stimulator is perfect for nights when you know you ain’t making to the club (and it took you 45 mins to get all dressed up). Its small and discrete you can use it without even disturbing your driver partitions be damned! $2,890.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"0162600_a\"<\/a>Jimmyjane Eternity in Platinum<\/span> – This little wand has a replaceable motor so you can get that fresh out the box feeling for the lifetime of the toy. Oh and its made of platinum, with 28 little diamonds. \u00a0$3,250.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Grand tally: $6,140.00 USD plus tax\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bonus the Eternity is waterproof so you know …<\/p>\n

\"surfbort\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Basket 2 – Golden Escapes<\/h3>\n

\"leloolga\"<\/a>Lelo Olga in Gold<\/span>– This g-spot stimulator is plated in 18K gold, it doesn’t vibrate but I’m thinking\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9 has the goods to provide her own. \u00a0The great thing about this is that it’s a double dipper, one end for the g-spot and the other for smooth insertion. It will remind her of I AM… SASHA FIERCE back when she needed another persona to express her sexuality. $3490.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"14kcockring\"<\/a>14K Gold Cock Ring<\/span>– She told him if you like you better put a ring on it and after listening to Partition I’m guessing Jay Z is holding it down. Still its gotta be hard keeping up with\u00a0King Bey, to keep those waterfalls going sometimes your rocket needs a little help. added bonus it was designed by a French person\u00a0Sylvie Monthule.\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9 digs French stuff.\u00a0\u00a0$129.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"0149000_a\"<\/a>Jimmyjane Little Gold<\/span>– This is a smaller version of the Eternity in 24K gold. Still whisper quiet and now even easier to concealed. \u00a0You can put it in that purse you can’t fit your hand in\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9! $325.00 \u00a0USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"1072000_a\"<\/a>Incoqnito Razor<\/span>– When you need a discrete spiny wheel dick torture bracelet and you are a pop music goddess you want it in rose gold. You might be wondering why I going straight to dick torture the lazy penis pun in the name indicates this was made to graze them. $89.00USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"4460-a-babeland-gift-card\"<\/a>Babeland Giftcard<\/span>– For Kelly Rowland, she just got engage but no one cares because\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9 released the fastest selling album of the year. $Less Than She Spent On Herself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Next<\/a>
Next time Kelly, Next time.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Grand tally: $6,000.00USD plus tax\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

BASKET 3 – I like to Imagine\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9 puts things in Jay-z’s butt<\/h3>\n

\"0404100_a\"<\/a>Lelo Earl in Gold<\/span>– Another 18k gold Lelo but this is a prostate stimulator and it comes with CUFFLINKS! There are two things I’ve decided are facts about Beyonc\u00e9: she puts things in butts and she will upgrade your suit accessories. The latter is supported by her music the former supported by the mental spank banks of millions of people. With the Earl she can kill two birds with one prostate massager and let Mr. Carter get his P-spot cudgelled like a gentleman. $2590.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"0162500_a\"<\/a>Jimmyjane Little Steel Tonight Eternity<\/span> – I like to think that Jay-Z would want his miss to tease his anus in style. \u00a0This version of the quiet vibe has 28 black diamonds and original lyrics from a member of the\u00a0Eurhythmics. Sweet Dreams indeed! $2000.00 USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"0162700_a\"<\/a>Jimmyjane Little Platinum<\/span>– If its worth having with black diamonds might as well have a platinum white diamond version for the office or private jet. $445.00USD\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"0120400-e-crave-duet-lux\"<\/a><\/span>Crave Duet Lux Vibe in Gold 16GB<\/span>– Oh you read right, this toy is also a fully functional usb drive. So not only do you have a dual motor mini vibe that can be used to tweak nipples or any sensitive places on your millionaire spouse , when your done teasing you can download all your songs and videos \u00a0to it while you recharge. $349.00USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\"0261600_a\"<\/a>Njoy Eleven<\/span> – It’s the most versatile wand on the market , made of surgical steel its great for temperature play, \u00a0anal, vaginal, and g-spot. Its multi-talented, curvaceous and I wouldn’t pay money to see it act in a feature film. It’s the\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9 of stainless steel dildos. $300.00USD<\/strong><\/p>\n

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Grand tally: $5,684.00USD plus tax\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

That was fun, now if you want to hear Feminista Jones and I ponder aloud about\u00a0Beyonc\u00e9, Blow Jobs and sex positive black feminism listen to the final TWIB AFTER DARK<\/a> of 2013! (also my birthday show)<\/p>\n

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These Might Tickle Your Fancy:<\/h3>