{"id":624,"date":"2010-05-30T11:33:42","date_gmt":"2010-05-30T15:33:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=624"},"modified":"2010-05-30T11:35:55","modified_gmt":"2010-05-30T15:35:55","slug":"3-products-wrongly-marketed-as-sex-toys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blasianbytch.com\/?p=624","title":{"rendered":"3 Products Wrongly Marketed as Sex Toys"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I come into contact with a lot of wacky sex toys, people have all sorts of kinks and fetishes that the sex toy market is eager to cater to. \u00a0I don’t knock that it takes\u00a0different\u00a0strokes \u00a0for\u00a0different\u00a0folks. \u00a0I get that but every once in a while I come across an item marketed as a sex toy that clearly would do better if shown to other markets. Here are my Top 3.<\/p>\n

\"Virginity<\/a>Artificial\u00a0Hymen<\/a><\/h3>\n

This little contraption has actually\u00a0caused\u00a0quite a stir in the muslim world. Egypt has even banned the importation of the item. \u00a0Here in the US we take the whole concept of\u00a0virginity\u00a0for granted. \u00a0We understand it , we kinda give it some kind of significance but all in all its a\u00a0milestone\u00a0that most of us are too drunk or old to remember passing.<\/p>\n

In some cultures virginity is actually serious business, like matter of life and death serious business. \u00a0So to ensure that their husbands believe they were chaste before marriage many women learn to fake it. \u00a0 Before a painful surgery was needed a “Love Knot<\/a>” was tied inside the vagina so a woman would bleed\u00a0during\u00a0sex. \u00a0You can see how popular a pain free pouch would get if offered as an alternative.<\/p>\n

Now You’ve read the above paragraphs and if you are sane none of your\u00a0naughty\u00a0bits tingled. Of course, there’s nothing sexy about\u00a0oppression\u00a0and sexism. \u00a0 The makers of this product market it as a role play device. \u00a0I’m not knocking anyone that has this fetish…but Come On. This thing could save lives! \u00a0This is a lot better suited doing that than to help some crappy porn sites.<\/p>\n

Market as:<\/strong> Role Play device<\/p>\n

Should be:<\/strong> Life saving instrument<\/p>\n

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BON4<\/a><\/h2>\n

I know what you’re thinking WTF is that. This contraption is the a silicone male chastity device. In layman’s terms this is a dick cage to punish boners. \u00a0In there lies my issue with this as a sexual toy. Most of the sex that happens involving a man has a lot to do with that man’s erect penis. The Bon4 makes having an erection a horrible nightmare. \u00a0So even sex acts that don’t require the man to have an erection but might possibly arose him are going to be painful. <\/span><\/h3>\n

I admit there are a bunch of people that are into pain, but oddly enough the Bon4 is advertised as the most comfortable dick cage on the market. Seriously, here is a selection from the website:<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>So the its the most comfortable dick\u00a0torture\u00a0cage? \u00a0That just plain doesn’t make any sense to me. \u00a0Especially after reading the instructions on how to put the thing on. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pull a little scrotal skin through the ring, then push one testicle through. Take a little more skin and push the other testicle through the ring. Now bend the penis downwards and pull it through the ring<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

OW. and then you can lock it with a padlock, seriously it comes with one. <\/span><\/p>\n

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Clearly this is one confused device but with a change in marketing this could be the new\u00a0accessory\u00a0to the rich and famous. \u00a0 Why? You can wear it everyday and at sporting events. like:<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span>Golf<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Football<\/p>\n

\"Kobe<\/a>Basketball<\/span><\/p>\n

Market as:<\/strong> Lockable Dick Cozy<\/p>\n

Should be:<\/strong> Celebrity Damage Control Device<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> <\/strong><\/p>\n

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Dildo Gas Mask<\/span><\/a><\/h2>\n

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As a sex toy I try not to think of the applications but seriously if you had one these in the movie 28 Days Later you’d be set! \u00a0Think about it, the zombies can’t infect you with\u00a0their\u00a0crazy zombies rabies and you can\u00a0whack\u00a0them away from you with your giant dildo of justice. \u00a0So when Z-day comes- and it is coming- I’m stocking up on one of these guys. <\/span><\/p>\n

Market as:<\/strong> Dildo Gas Mask<\/p>\n

Should be:<\/strong> Zombie Kill Mask.<\/p>\n\n

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These Might Tickle Your Fancy:<\/h3>