This month adult stars Misti Stone and Alana Evans are launching their gamecentric cam site to coincide with the launch of the much anticipated Gears of War 3. According the to the press release the site will “the website will eventually host every gaming party, as well as provide in-depth profiles of each Porn Star Gamer Girl, video game reviews done by Evans and Dawn and provide plus clips and photos from previous Gamer Girl sessions.” Sounds great for every fan of both porn and games (a vien diagram would just be one circle fyi). But what about female game enthusiast?
I’ve always been on the fence about sexualizing myself as a woman that plays games. I tried it on GameCrush.com, which didn’t end that well and because I hate myself I’ll be trying it again with Stripville.com (formally Stripgammer.com) . As much as I’ve commoditized my sexuality there’s time were I think beyond getting my money and wonder how my actions are impacting other women game enthusiasts – and if its even fair for other female gamers to gripe about it.
There’s nothing more annoying than joining a multiplayer game only to be sexually harassed or to be afraid to speak and identify yourself as a woman for fear of negative backlash. A lot of which comes from the idea that as a woman I don’t belong in their male space – unless we are inspiring their boners.
Even before my online gamer persona was connected to my adult entertainment involvement I had men trying to initiate VOI sex chats , or just spewing sexually explicit hate language. I always wondered what do these men do when they encounter women in real life. Do they just bum rush them screaming profanities and admonishing her for not “doing it” for them.
My initial reaction to men like this was to hide from them. If you never mention you are a woman then you won’t be harassed. Just like if you never mention your are Black, or Muslim or disabled or anything that makes you -well YOU. I wouldn’t hide my race, religious or country of origin to make anyone else comfortable why the hell should I have to hide my gender to make a buncha fuck-os on Xbox Live comfortable?
A natural extension of that way of thinking – for me at least- is if I’m not going to de-gender myself why should I desexualize myself? Its pretty clear that sexuality is large part of my identity one that is independent of being sexually attractive to others. It’s a part of who I am. Of cours that is not true for many women who play games and want no parts of their sexuality tied to their game playing or other nerdy proclivities.
Back when I just plain didn’t give a hoot and #TittyTuesday was my favorite hashtag I did a series of cam shots with involving several controllers and hand held gaming devices in various states of undress. I thought it was cute and funny. After all the majority of my followers are men that have either seen my boobs or anticipate seeing my boobs.
Then I got a message from a young lady who followed me. She wasn’t angry and I’m sure she was joking , she simple tweeted “I hope no one thinks I’m going to do this”. I felt guilty and in honesty agreed with her. No one should expect her to. As much as I want to believe that my actions have no impact on how others will be treated they always will.
Now I’m at a point where I’m more confused than when I started. You can say that my sexuality was proceeded by my love of games. So the woman I am today was helped shaped by the games I played way back when. The women I am today really likes having orgasms and making her ass clap -even when no one is watching. But is my sexy persona fueling the backlash for women gamers? I still don’t know.
Tell me what you think-
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