The Battle that Rages Only in the Mind of Heterosexual Men

Part Two

Who’s Pussy Is This?

Masturbation happens its been happening since the evolution of complex sexual creatures. Humans do it, dolphins, chimps and a plethora of other animals.  Despite it being a completely natural and healthy occurrence thanks to those wacky repressed Victorians and a few bible verses most of the western world has shunned touching themselves.

In the bible God strikes down Onan for spilling his seed on the ground.  He’s the twat that ruined jerking off for everyone, according some interpretations.   For the better part of the last few centuries people actually called masturbation “onanism”

The idea that a man spilling his seed was a sin wasn’t enough for Victorians of course, as Roy J. Levin wrote in the British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy

“…Semen was thought to play a special role in the economy of the body, claims that one ounce (33 grams) of semen lost being the equivalent of the loss of 40 ounces (one and a third kilograms!) of blood, so that its wasteful dissipation by masturbation was held to create a disequilibrium leading to malady and disease.”

You may be thinking what does this have to do with women and vibrators?  Well you see if masturbation for men was lethal, it couldn’t be expected that virtuous Victorian women get all the fun. Female masturbation was said to cause “jaundice, menstrual derangements, epileptic fits, enuresis, unchastity of speech while its practice would facilitate the pathway to sodomy.”  Levin also writes that female masturbation was also thought to cause hysteria, which they cured with MASTURBATION!

Curing AND giving herself Hysteria

Of course this was male designated masturbation, even if performed by a midwife, the message was clear, a male sanction orgasm was a medical miracle while a female created orgasm made you an epileptic whore.

Remember when I mentioned in part one, that vibrators as a medical device went out of fashion? Well that had a great deal to do with the man that went out of his way to convince everybody that they wanted to fuck their parents. Yep , Mr. Father-of-Modern-Psychology himself Sigmund Freud.

Freud  had the grand idea that women had two kinds of orgasms – one good, one immature. Orgasms derived from clitoral orgasm (usually from masturbation or manipulation by a partner) were considered inferior to G spot or vaginal orgasms.   Vaginal orgasms caused by a penis were the correct mature and feminine orgasm. So a generation of women were raised to believe what men always wanted to hear, any orgasm they give themselves, was inferior to the one a man gives her.

Because some men need a fucking map, There they are, G-spot and Clitoris memorize this!

In this is basis of male angst when it comes to vibrators.   A vibrator can stimulate the clitoris as well as the g spot, giving a woman an incredible orgasm they are frankly intimidated by.  For the entirety of western civilization men had control of a woman’s orgasm.  Before vibrators most sexual toys were phallic, with the advent of vibrators women could use devices with or without penetration.  Finally orgasm without penetration and without sanction of masculine penetration are being massed produced and its making men antsy.

Freud was challenged by the Kinsey report which is a lot closer to how American are actually fucking, as it was collected by taking the sexual survey of thousands and not what some German mother fucker thought up in his lonely office.   Of course Kinsey was writing for scholarly journals so most people have never even heard of the report let alone read it.  So the fear of super orgasm reigns supreme.

If I can talk to all the men that have an overwhelming fear of vibrators and their superior orgasms, remember this. It’s her pussy. Whenever a woman opens up and invites you into her pussy and let’s you witness her glorious orgasm feel flattered.  Not only is a female still ready to go after an orgasm its easier to achieve another one.

If you are so intimidated by a dual orgasm, start giving them instead of just relying on toys. Use positions that allow for clitoral stimulation with your hands, explore her vagina with your fingers during cunniligus .   There are a myriad of things a human being can do that a vibrator simply cannot and I’m not talking about killing spiders and lifting heavy furniture.

Stop thinking you are at war with an intimate object for your girl’s pussy, because I hate to break it to you but you already lost. Its her pussy, always has been and always will be. How she chooses to orgasm is up to her.  There’s really no sense in fighting it. Vibrators are here to stay and they were your own invention.

The vast majority of women will never have a vaginal orgasm, to ask us to sign our pussies over to man in hopes that solely penetration of if not only selfish but insane. So embrace the vibrator, it is not your enemy but your ally.

So the next time you stumble on your girlfriend’s toy box, chill.  It’s her fucking pussy anyway.

For more information check out :

Religous Tolerance.org

Hitched.com : The Orgasm Debate

Sexual and Relationship Therapy an Academic Journal.