It’s My 2nd Blogaversary! is 2 Today!!

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Toy Review: Pure Skin Stud by California Exotic

This is the 10 Function Pure Skin Stud , its my first exposure to a toy like this, its a super squishy “real skin” vibrating dong. Its about 8 inches long with about 5 1/2 inches of insertable surface.  This is the “ivory”  color and it also comes in “brown“.  The toy’s base holds its controls and the vibration mechanism.  The controls were thankfully created with self use in mind because unlike many other toys the controls face up so you can ergonomically control while you play. This toy requires 2 AA batteries and is waterproof.

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Toy Review: Pink Rotator

My first glass toy! I was really excited to try the Pink Rotator, not just because of the material its made out of but because its one of the first battery-free dildos I have and that makes me feel like I’m being all green and eco-friendly with my twat.

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Sexy Holiday Gift Guide

Because you waited this long to go shopping and the parking lot at the mall can go fuck itself.

There’s only 7 days until Christmas and you still can’t think of the perfect gift, or you’re just a lazy sack of shit, either way you need presents  and you need them fast. FAST and SEXY- and there’s nothing more sexy than toys, lingerie and sex positive books. Continue reading “Sexy Holiday Gift Guide”

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I’ll Be Tweeting from EXXXOTICA LIVE!

Couldn’t make it to the show? No worries I’ll be tweeting and twitpic-ing ( not sure if that last one gets to be a verb) all the stars , products and fun as it happens.  So if you don’t already, click the picture below and follow me on twitter to get in on all the fun!

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Halloween Porno Double Feature!

As far as I'm concerned every crotch that isn't mine.

In honor of my favorite time of year, and let’s face it every fatty’s favorite time of year,

I found two porns that fit the mood. Now I’m usually not all that big on porn with chicks in it; every vagina looks like the sloppy blind cousin of the brain bug from Starship Troopers to me.  Just to have full disclosure I fast forwarded through the majority of genitals.

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I would like to call your attention to the lovely blue box on your right, Oh yes you read that correctly. 104%.  As they say in Jersey “Yous guys fucking rule!”

Continue reading “WE DID IT!”

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Mojowijo Wants to Play Dirty on the Wii

Wii FuckMy inbox has been flooded with people telling me about the Mojowijo.  To be blunt it turns your wiimote into a motion capturing fuckwand.  Now contrary to what you might be expecting I’m not going to openly mock this product, it actually is a pretty good idea just with HORRIBLE execution. Continue reading “Mojowijo Wants to Play Dirty on the Wii”

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Call Me the Dildo Fairy! Purveyor of Festive Dongs

If you haven’t noticed by now, on the side bar and on the menu bar there is a link to the Vibrant Vibes sex toy store.  I really wanted to make it easier for my readers to find good quality personal love items that won’t break the bank.

Purveyor of Festive DongsThe Dildo Fairy

Yes they have expensive ass Lelo toys (which I love) but they also have pretty awesome vibrating bullets for around 3 or 4 dollars. You just can’t beat that.  Orgasms for the price of a value meal? I’m lovin’ it.

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Got a Party in Your Pants?

Well now you can finally enjoy appropriate lighting…


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3 Products Wrongly Marketed as Sex Toys

I come into contact with a lot of wacky sex toys, people have all sorts of kinks and fetishes that the sex toy market is eager to cater to.  I don’t knock that it takes different strokes  for different folks.  I get that but every once in a while I come across an item marketed as a sex toy that clearly would do better if shown to other markets. Here are my Top 3. Continue reading “3 Products Wrongly Marketed as Sex Toys”

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Do You Know What May is?

National Masturbation Month!!!

It is actually stroke awareness month

Yes,  May is known for many things ,  including  National Stroke Month it is also :

  • Asian American History Month
  • South Asian/ Indian Month
  • Military Forces Appreciation Month

For me May is one of my favorite months because it is set aside to help people get in touch with themselves.  As someone that used to be very against masturbation , I know how hard it is especially for women to start to appreciate their bodies. Continue reading “Do You Know What May is?”

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So not everyone was happy being an April Fool

So, I got a lot of people REALLY good with my April Fool’s day joke. My cell was ringing off the hook and people were leaving tearful messages and all. I think I meat spin’d at least 140 people.  While I think I deserve some sort of medal for that alone, I feel a ting of troll remorse.  I love a good joke but, I gave my best friend a heart attack and now Mr.Chien is disappointed that there’s no porn.

Since I can’t personally make it up to all my readers like I can for my besties and Mr.Chien, I figure I can at least throw you guys a deal or two.    So  below are two coupons you can use to purchase toy from Adam and Eve! Continue reading “So not everyone was happy being an April Fool”

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Boys Vs Toys II

Stop thinking you are at war with an intimate object for your girl’s pussy, because I hate to break it to you but you already lost. Its her pussy, always has been and always will be. How she chooses to orgasm is up to her. There’s really no sense in fighting it. Vibrators are here to stay and they were your own invention.

The Battle that Rages Only in the Mind of Heterosexual Men

Part Two

Who’s Pussy Is This?

Masturbation happens its been happening since the evolution of complex sexual creatures. Humans do it, dolphins, chimps and a plethora of other animals.  Despite it being a completely natural and healthy occurrence thanks to those wacky repressed Victorians and a few bible verses most of the western world has shunned touching themselves. Continue reading “Boys Vs Toys II”

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Toys Vs Boys?

The Battle that Rages Only in the Mind of Heterosexual Men

Part one

Where do Vibrators come from ?

This may shock you but not to long ago I was one of the many women who did not masturbate, especially not with any kind of device or apparatus to assist me.  Sometimes it’s little hard for me to be so open about self-pleasure.   One of those moments came up recently when I was showing a dear friend my blog for the first time.

This young man is very sharp, liberal minded and open in most regards to sexuality. One of the few fellows that treated me just as well after he found out I was a dancer as he did before he knew.  I was showing him some of my writing on his Black Berry and the topic of sex toys came up.  He said very seriously “No girl of mine is going to be using a vibrator” Continue reading “Toys Vs Boys?”

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My New Toyfriend: Liv by Lelo Pleasure Objects

You might be shocked to know that I had a great Valentine’s weekend. What got me to stop singing the blues?  Well, I had the chance to really get to know the latest addition to my toy box, the Liv from Lelo Pleasure Objects and seriously it turned my frown upside down.

Though it arrived well before Valentine’s Day, I didn’t really get to see its full potential until V-day weekend.  With the Liv everyday is Valentine’s Day. Continue reading “My New Toyfriend: Liv by Lelo Pleasure Objects”

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Meet the Aston Martin of Pleasure Objects.

I’ve been looking for quality products to review after I was introduced to a myriad of new toy companies and in my search for the best and more interesting  I made a jaw dropping discovery.  The most expensive collection of sex toys ever created.

The Swedish made Lelo Luxe  collection of “pleasure objects” together cost more than a semester of my college education, more than my brother’s car and  triple  the average cost of breast augmentation in the US ($6,598  USD according to

the Luxe group of pleasure devices
Collectively $20,890 USD

The collection consists of the $1500 Yva a clitoral stimulator, the $7900 Olga G-spot stimulator , the $990 Earl the prostate stimulator ( which comes with matching cuff links) , and the most expensive vibrating dildo ever created the $ 10, 500 Inez.  Collectively a whopping $20,890 not counting shipping and handling.

These are not your mama’s vibrator, unless your mama is some kind of duchess or one of Donald Trump’s exes.  Lelo has always been known for their whisper quiet  high quality  products, but the Luxe line really takes the cake when it comes to sexual opulence. According to the com:

The most luxurious vibrators and massagers in the world, arriving on a satin pillow in an exclusive wooden box, ready for truly special users. All are crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate, materials that offer exciting prospects for those inclined to the sensual use of temperature.

That’s right, those 14K gold earrings you got your lady are of poorer quality than something designed to tickle a g-spot or prostate.  Hell,  my brother’s used car didn’t cost as much as the Inez alone.   Not only are these items haute couture for sex they were even displayed in an art exhibition “Sensuality and Design”  at the Fuori Salone in Milan in 2009.   Let’s see your Fleshlight pull that off.

The only way I’d do porn was if  I got to use the golden Inez , sure I’d be penetrated on camera – BUT WITH A GOLDEN GODDAMNED DILDO.   I’m wondering how long it takes for rappers to start bragging about owning one of these  gems.

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