I was guest host for Hotline, Fusion’s live sexual health call-in show hosted by Cleo Stiller. I rarely talk about my personal relationships – even on After Dark, but I thought this was an important topic. We talk about so many aspects of how elections or politics in general impact our sex lives.
People buy into the idea that love, or at least passion will conquer all, but I think it’s unrealistic to expect to keep up a healthy sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t share your core values. Especially when those values include things like equal rights, or not wanting your extrajudicial killing justified by your skin color. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that certain politics dry your walls or itch your balls. I feel sick when I think about getting stroked and providing pleasure to a bigot that thinks basic human rights are up for debate.
I’d rather go orgasm free than contribute to the ejaculation of a person with a hateful heart.
Have you ever had to dip out on someone because of conflicting political beliefs? Tell me about it in the comments!
Unless you’ve lived under a rock or just awoke from a sitcom coma you fell into January 2015 you’ve heard of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton. The surprise broadway sensation based on a mix tape inspired by Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton recently won 11 Tony’s, a Pulitzer and a Grammy. Since we live in a the darkest timeline anything getting this much media buzz gets a porn “parody” treatment. Continue reading “You Knew This Day Would Come, Get Ready for Hamiltoe”
So its been awhile. I’ve come down with a very bad case of “Everything I Write is Poops” but working on that to bring you guy more delicious content. If you have missed me I wanted to give you a chance to listen or read to some of my latest interviews.
Many moons ago I got an interesting Ask in my tumblr. While this submission wasn’t actually a question so much as a person trying to BLOW MY MIND with their amazing logic. I thought I should share it.
“The porn industry is male dominated (made up primarily of male pornographers/film directors/producers/editors/casting directors) and is geared towards a straight male audience. Just because some women and some queer individuals consume pornographic content (much of which is becoming increasingly violent and aggressive, especially towards women) does not make it ‘feminist,’ or ‘ethical.'”
2013 was a bag dicks. If 2013 was a frail old man I would gently push him so he would fall down, while he was on the ground I would glare at him as a poked him with a blunt stick. 2013 for me was the human experience equivalent of Drake’s eyebrows. You might have gathered from the whopping 10 posts I made all year that shit was somewhat real for me this year. 2013 taught me that yes, failure is an option.
Twitter is where your childhood and celebrity crushes go to die, resurrect like Romero zombie and bite you right in the feels. When Kal Penn came out as a supporter of NYC’s Stop and Frisk and the racist ideology behind it I was forced to give up my teenaged dreams of him one day touching my heart and dick punching my cervix.
My reaction to his tweets, were emotional to say the least. I invite you to the theatre of my mind as I went through al the stages of grief when your shows his ass as a bigot apologist. By friendly request I’ve storyfied my break down.
While I was sick about 2 months ago someone left a pretty interesting comment on one of my toy reviews. It was pretty interesting so I’ll lend my two cents.
“Hey N’Jaila, I was wondering what is your take on racism in escort communities. Sorry this isn’t on topic relative to the review, but I’ve been trying to google it since my friend was talking to me about the “no black men” policy some escorts have. I even read a blog post from a white escort, and while I know women are entitled to do what they want with their bodies and to keep themselves safe, especially in that line of work, it just seems all kind of wrong to me. I mean, we don’t even need anti-miscegenation laws or the sometimes seen lynch mobs anymore b/c people self-select, and in very predictable ways, on and off line. In blatantly racist ways. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about b/c I’ve considered escort work and it’s difficult to navigate this troubling dynamic. And of course as a black escort I’m worried if I could even make a living. Cause the discrimination goes both ways, I’d imagine white escorts get the most business in spite of age and appearance at time. Oh and I realize you may not know much about escort side of work, but it’d still like to hear based on your experience, especially as a woman of color.” Continue reading “N’jaila’s Mail Box : Sex Worker Racism”
As some of you noticed posts were slow the last two months. I do apologize, I fell ill and then got a little more, and a more still. Things were looking a bit bleak, luckily for me I’m no longer a freelancer with no health insurance – even though I sometimes still think like one. A few trips to the ER and some doctors offices and I can breath again, dance again and enjoy life. Actually I’ve been going on a living spree as of late, but I haven’t forgotten about my writing and this blog. I’m still very committed to it. New posts are coming, though they may be a bit dated and I’m always writing new things.
Thank you for your patience with me as I recovered and celebrated,
In celebration of getting my Star Wars Kinect xbox360 bundle I’ll be doing a came marathon! To show my thanks to all those who supported me I’m going to have a special stream of the show LIVE! Right now. Just for those that read my blog.
I’ve been following her on twitter for a while after I came back from Banana II and got on my #TEAMBLASIAN kick hardcore. I don’t know why I didn’t write about this Hawaiian beauty earlier but she has been featured on a new song with Akon and Jadakiss. She’s doing big things!
I have so much to be thankful for this year, of all the things I’m thankful for I’m happy to say that this blog has connected me to great people, that have become more than just readers, but friends. Thank you all for helping me achieve things that I thought were just impossible, for calling me out when I over dramatically fall in the depths of despair when I get too overwhelmed and for snapping me back to reality when I tend to float away.
You guys inspire me with your talent and humble me with your kindness.
Many of you have wondered why I haven’t been updating. Well I’ll tell you. I was sick and tired. Not in the angsty way. I was too poor to eat. So I was quit literally too sick and tired to do much. I have mentioned my job before and how it was somewhat terrible. I was always working a “steady” gig while I picked up freelance work. The thing with freelance is that sometimes you hit a rough patch. The money stops coming and if your steady gig can’t cover the bills your screwed. That pretty much happend to me.
Last week I started a new job. A for realzies job. I have insurance and a 401K and no one walks around with an erection nor does anyone stuff money in my panties. In fact I actually wear panties everyday! Not just panties but a pants suit. So not only do I not have to fear closing this site due to costs but I can actually realize he vision I have for this site.
I feel like Pinocchio , I’m finally a real person in the eyes of society. I’m a functioning member and not financial or social drain. I think it might come as a shock but I really never fully believed this day would come. There’s a high functioning part of my brain that is disgusted at how much my job controls my feeling of self worth, but fuck that part of my brain. Continue reading “I’m Not Dead.”
I am on websites like Adultfriendfinder and Fetlife to explore my sexuality and fetishes- not to be your fetish object. I know this might be a confusing concept for some of you out there, but women of color have their kinks and turn-ons as well. While some women might be open to race play many are not. I’m the latter. Continue reading “Dear Internet People- I Am Not Your Fetish Object”
Wanna watch me talking about Asian dicks and porn star health insurance?
I’m finally back from Banana 2 the event I’ve been talking about for months. I actually got back on Tuesday but thanks to some questionable sushi I was out of commission for a bit. Banana 2 took place in Studio City, Los Angeles and it was only my 2nd time in LA. The first time I spent about 3 hours in LA having Pho with Rick Lee.
I can say with no hyperbole that it was one of the proudest and most amazing experiences of my life. Not only did I get to hear men and women who I’ve respected and admired for years but got to meet and speak with them.
For the last ten or so years every form of mass media has told me that this is not only the best way of measuring my worth as a Black woman, its also innately low class while being the only reason any man would put up with me.