BlasianBytch.com is 2 Today!!

It’s been a hell of a year.  Sometimes it feels completely unreal how this year has been, it was like my life was a Korean drama, only with a lot more esteemed authors, facials and porn actresses.  At the start of this year I was failed freelancer slumming it on my bro’s broken couch, now 356 days later I’m typing this on the same shitty laptop- but in my own apartment where I sleep on a bed every night, in a room with a door.  That might sound mundane as shit to you but to me its somewhat of a miracle.

In these 52 weeks, I had so many proud moments that I got to share with you.  Of course there was Banana 2. Which I still can’t believe wasn’t a hallucination , I got to shake hands and sit and talk with people that I only read about. It lead me to make a forum and completely fail at making a Blasian salon – but I was able to be visible enough to find people that were a lot better at it than me. So I saw it as a huge victory.  Of course I have my regrets about that conference  as well. I really wish I didn’t let prime teachable moments slip away.

Right before Banana 2 I wrote a post about the love/hate relationship I have with my big Black ass.  I thought I made it clear that its pretty shitty to treat a woman like her highest achievement are her buttcheeks. You would think a bunch of social activists would have picked on that not so subtle message. NOPE, 3 people asked to take pictures…with my ASS. They came up to me not to talk about the panel I was on- but just wanted to gawk at my booty. Never mind that I was the only Black identified woman there, never mind that that post was talking about how hopeless that kind of thing makes me as a Black woman feel.  Out of fear of being an “Angry Black Woman” I was all demure smiles but truth be told I out of all the times I’ve been in dingy strip parties, been grabbed. manhandled or had bills shoved where bills have no business being shoved- that moment when that woman asked me to turn around so she can take a picture with my butt is the most degrading.  I regret not expressing that to her.

When I finally worked up the courage to introduce myself to Phil Yu of Angry Asian Man , at the Banana 2 after party, he gleefully showed me a picture of a woman staring pensively  at a picture of my bum. Very hard to chit chat, when you’re already so nervous you want to vomit and now you feel like, “oh , great I’m just a joke to them.” When I got back to my hotel I was going to delete the post- but then someone commented on my facebook page to talk about how cathartic the post was for her.  So yeah, I know for a lot of people out there I am just  some dumb whore but it was up to me to show them that there’s something past the ass.  If there is any goal in mind for BlasianBytch.com its to showcase a sexual being of color as a intellectual being.  My butt shenanigans didn’t completely sour my Banana 2 experience, but it sure as shit made me feel more dejected than any guy pouring liquor on my tits.  I should have made that clear , even if it would mean being the “debbie downer”.  I could have also refrained from deep throating a dildo in front of one of my favorite authors but hey no one’s perfect.

Another bright spot for this year was when I was asked to participate in the Interracial Dating Roundtables over at Racialicous.  I’ve been a loyal reader to that blog and in many ways that blog has influenced mine.  It was kinda an “ah HA” moment for me. Much like Banana 2 , I learned to give people a little more credit.  Being a sex worker and speaking about the adult industry has yet to hinder those I respect from reciprocating that respect.  This was really drilled into my head when durring my frist streamate show a college aged guy told me that he knew me from my blog, which he discovered when he had to write a paper about my round table on Racialiscous.  If you came up to me 3 years ago and told me someone would be reading MY writing in a undergrad writing course I would have laughed in your face. This is my reality , both terrifying and thrilling all that the same time.

I’m happy that I did what I set out to do a year ago, make this a more sex positive blog, I’ll be doubling my efforts from last year. Last year I went to Exxxotica with a little social change on my mind. It didn’t work out as planned but I see a glimpse of what I want and I’m going to bust my ass to work towards that goal.

I may have not gotten on any top sex blog list this year, but I’m pretty proud of myself for sticking with this for 3 whole years.  I’ve been with this blog longer than any functional relationship I’ve ever had.  So thank you for 3 great years of bloggering and 2 great years of BlasianBytch.com.  If there’s anything you would like to ask , or want to see leave a message .

I love you all Deeply!,

Jaila

Oh and here is this years top post according to Sharaholic. ( ignoring the log in page)