Toy Reviews

A collection of every toy review I’ve done.  For companies that would like me to review their products you can email me at

Best of the Best

These toys are like getting a hummer from Christ himself while the devil massages your feet and God makes you a Mimosa. I highly recommend these toys, so much so I’ve looked into the legality of a human/vibrator marriage. They achieved the coveted status of “Toyfriend”.

Honorable Mention

These toys might not have had me having out of body experiences but get the job done. I would recommend but recognize their short comings.


These toys were Meh – to garbage truck juice.  I wouldn’t reccomend