Part Black, Part Asian ALL BYTCH!
But for actual pussies, like the type that go “meow” and take naps on your black dress while you shower before a date. This is the Human Centipede cat toy , and for $100 it can be yours. If you think that’s a little steep you have to realize that only 7 of these are in existence.
I’ve been looking for quality products to review after I was introduced to a myriad of new toy companies and in my search for the best and more interesting I made a jaw dropping discovery. The most expensive collection of sex toys ever created.
The Swedish made Lelo Luxe collection of “pleasure objects” together cost more than a semester of my college education, more than my brother’s car and triple the average cost of breast augmentation in the US ($6,598 USD according to realself.com)
The collection consists of the $1500 Yva a clitoral stimulator, the $7900 Olga G-spot stimulator , the $990 Earl the prostate stimulator ( which comes with matching cuff links) , and the most expensive vibrating dildo ever created the $ 10, 500 Inez. Collectively a whopping $20,890 not counting shipping and handling.
These are not your mama’s vibrator, unless your mama is some kind of duchess or one of Donald Trump’s exes. Lelo has always been known for their whisper quiet high quality products, but the Luxe line really takes the cake when it comes to sexual opulence. According to Lelo.com the com:
The most luxurious vibrators and massagers in the world, arriving on a satin pillow in an exclusive wooden box, ready for truly special users. All are crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate, materials that offer exciting prospects for those inclined to the sensual use of temperature.
That’s right, those 14K gold earrings you got your lady are of poorer quality than something designed to tickle a g-spot or prostate. Hell, my brother’s used car didn’t cost as much as the Inez alone. Not only are these items haute couture for sex they were even displayed in an art exhibition “Sensuality and Design” at the Fuori Salone in Milan in 2009. Let’s see your Fleshlight pull that off.
The only way I’d do porn was if I got to use the golden Inez , sure I’d be penetrated on camera – BUT WITH A GOLDEN GODDAMNED DILDO. I’m wondering how long it takes for rappers to start bragging about owning one of these gems.
Because it’s made of chocolate!
This little bite of WTF was emailed to me by a reader. The Incredible Edible Anus is made by the chocolatiers of Bisous and it handcrafted out of fine Belgian chocolate. If you order from thier site www.EdibleAnus.com ( you just can’t make this shit up) you will receive anuses made of dark, milk and white chocolate. The smallest amount anus you can order is 5 boxes each containing 3 anuses. It will set you back about 60 USD.
Clearly…
I’m somewhat flabbergasted that there was a large enough demand for candy anus that a company would specialize in them – but in a world of Lolicocks and gummy boobs a chocolate anus doesn’t seem that weird does it? Ok ,yes it does. Its plenty freaky lol. I wonder if some British bloke is misting himself with a little Vulva while rimming one of these coco assholes.
For a limited time they are offering a solid silver anus for the low low price of 250 pounds! I guess some people need a paper weight they can finger?
I was a little put off by this blurb from the site.
I guess if your serious about your genital shaped confections you can’t possibly settle for something made by some filthy Chinaman. I’m going to pass on ordering these I’ve got a perfectly edible smack-able chocolate ass of my own.