It’s almost 2011! I hope you guys are excited as I am , and not just because my celibacy will be up in two days. There’s going to be a lot of changes for BlasianBytch.com in the coming year and I hope you guys will have the patience to bear with me.
For the next year I really want to help the site grow in the direction I originally intended. I wanted a place for my erotica, sex positive posts and of course toy reviews. This doesn’t mean I won’t be doing Adult industry stories, I actually think that to talk about sex and sexuality in a positive way you can shun porn. For better or worst an entire generation has learned about sex from it , as a society we need to take a good look at it. While we look and discuss we also shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss what those in the industry have to say about it. Their voices should be heard just as loudly as the professors , media analyst and talk show pundits. Continue reading “Happy NEW YEAR! Tell Me What Sex toys to review in 2011”
Because you waited this long to go shopping and the parking lot at the mall can go fuck itself.
There’s only 7 days until Christmas and you still can’t think of the perfect gift, or you’re just a lazy sack of shit, either way you need presents and you need them fast. FAST and SEXY- and there’s nothing more sexy than toys, lingerie and sex positive books. Continue reading “Sexy Holiday Gift Guide”
LELO finally has a new line of toys and accessories and I’ve come into the fortune of getting my hands on their new Insignia Isla toy! You may remember from my review of the Liv that I’m fairly impressed overall with the level of craftsmanship that goes into the quality of sex toys over at LELO. Continue reading “Toy Friend: LELO’s Insignia Line: Isla”
Here is part two of my interview where I get to talk about what I know the best, orgasms, vibrators and how to have the best sex of your life!
I hope you join Gspotclique.com, they are actually doing a promotion in honor of moi if you buy a Lelo Liv from them not only will you get free shipping, but you’ll get 20% off! use the coupon code “blasianbytch” from now until Nov 1
This is a great toy for beginners and pros a like! It’s a very versatile toy, like most bullet vibrators it’s great for pleasing the erogenous zones of both men and women.
My inbox has been flooded with people telling me about the Mojowijo. To be blunt it turns your wiimote into a motion capturing fuckwand. Now contrary to what you might be expecting I’m not going to openly mock this product, it actually is a pretty good idea just with HORRIBLE execution. Continue reading “Mojowijo Wants to Play Dirty on the Wii”
The Battle that Rages Only in the Mind of Heterosexual Men
Part one
Where do Vibrators come from ?
This may shock you but not to long ago I was one of the many women who did not masturbate, especially not with any kind of device or apparatus to assist me. Sometimes it’s little hard for me to be so open about self-pleasure. One of those moments came up recently when I was showing a dear friend my blog for the first time.
This young man is very sharp, liberal minded and open in most regards to sexuality. One of the few fellows that treated me just as well after he found out I was a dancer as he did before he knew. I was showing him some of my writing on his Black Berry and the topic of sex toys came up. He said very seriously “No girl of mine is going to be using a vibrator” Continue reading “Toys Vs Boys?”
You might be shocked to know that I had a great Valentine’s weekend. What got me to stop singing the blues? Well, I had the chance to really get to know the latest addition to my toy box, the Liv from Lelo Pleasure Objects and seriously it turned my frown upside down.
I’ve been looking for quality products to review after I was introduced to a myriad of new toy companies and in my search for the best and more interesting I made a jaw dropping discovery. The most expensive collection of sex toys ever created.
The Swedish made Lelo Luxe collection of “pleasure objects” together cost more than a semester of my college education, more than my brother’s car and triple the average cost of breast augmentation in the US ($6,598 USD according to realself.com)
Collectively $20,890 USD
The collection consists of the $1500 Yva a clitoral stimulator, the $7900 Olga G-spot stimulator , the $990 Earl the prostate stimulator ( which comes with matching cuff links) , and the most expensive vibrating dildo ever created the $ 10, 500 Inez. Collectively a whopping $20,890 not counting shipping and handling.
These are not your mama’s vibrator, unless your mama is some kind of duchess or one of Donald Trump’s exes. Lelo has always been known for their whisper quiet high quality products, but the Luxe line really takes the cake when it comes to sexual opulence. According to Lelo.com the com:
The most luxurious vibrators and massagers in the world, arriving on a satin pillow in an exclusive wooden box, ready for truly special users. All are crafted in stainless steel or 18K gold plate, materials that offer exciting prospects for those inclined to the sensual use of temperature.
That’s right, those 14K gold earrings you got your lady are of poorer quality than something designed to tickle a g-spot or prostate. Hell, my brother’s used car didn’t cost as much as the Inez alone. Not only are these items haute couture for sex they were even displayed in an art exhibition “Sensuality and Design” at the Fuori Salone in Milan in 2009. Let’s see your Fleshlight pull that off.
The only way I’d do porn was if I got to use the golden Inez , sure I’d be penetrated on camera – BUT WITH A GOLDEN GODDAMNED DILDO. I’m wondering how long it takes for rappers to start bragging about owning one of these gems.
Today marks the anniversary of me coming bursting out my mommy and into the world. Well actually I slept through my own birth. They had to wake me up haha. I wonder what that says about me.
So here is my birthday wish list, I as the pros on Twitter @JaylaStarr@kyannalee and @kimoraklein what sex toy should I review next and here is what they suggested.
“@BlasianBytch I’m more of a clitoris type of girl, I love my pocket rocket!!!!!” “ Its a toy that focuses on the clitoris, a classic I’ve never tries for myself. It can be purchased here
“@BlasianBytch Anything made by njoy!!” I had never heard anything about this company or its products but after a little research this green sex toy company has an impressive line of toys. The above looking VERY promising. Purchase it here
Twilight Fans Can Finally Experience Edward’s Twinkle Cock
I’m going to say this pretty plainly. I hate Twilight. In any form books, movies, and especially anyone over the age of 14 that thinks the books are well written and romantic. The main character Mary Sue- er Bella Swan has the personality of cardboard box. I don’t understand the appeal but one thing that is now cemented in my mind is that fans of the series that are over 18 are the saddest fans ever. Even worst than Dragon Force fans.
While I was doing some Black Friday sex toy shopping I happened upon this…
Fuck you Internet, FUCK YOU.
Tantus Inc is a great dildo merchant as far as dildo merchants go but … a sparkling pink cock? Seriously, why pander to the lowest common bracket of humanity, twitards? I’m not even going to bother wondering why they made a dildo fashioned after a preteen fantasy.
I was flabbergasted that the damn thing cost 40 bucks , 14 year olds don’t have that kinda cash to blow on dick, middle aged moms do. My soul cried asI realized that this is exactly who they are marketing to. The over the hill twi-mom in her 5X “Team Edward” T-shirt rubbing one out to the sex lives of teens.
I’m also miffed that they gave him an mediocre cock. “The Vamp” as the call it is only 6.75 inches and 1 1/2 inches thick. Now account for the fact that you have to hold the thing in your hand you’re geting like 3 and a half inched of undead cock. Boo.
I come off feeling some type of why knowing that this thing is designed to go in the freezer and stay cold. Necrophilia can be mainstream as long as glitter is involved I guess.
Another thing that pisses me off is the site sugest movies for you to enjoy with this:
Tantus suggests the following movies if you enjoy The Vamp. Talk about Expert Advice!
The Lost Boys
Fright Night 1 and 2
Interview with the Vampire
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
True Blood TV Series
Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV Series
Angel TV Series
If one wants to fuck Edward , I’m pretty sure they don’t have the sense of humor to enjoy Whedon , the attention span to sit through Bram Stoker’s Dracula and sex scares you so that takes out True Blood and Interview with a Vampire. Twilight fans don’t like real vampires, they like hollow fantasies of popularity and not fucking vampires until they marry you.
Oh and the damn thing doesn’t even sparkle that much
This little bite of WTF was emailed to me by a reader. The Incredible Edible Anus is made by the chocolatiers of Bisous and it handcrafted out of fine Belgian chocolate. If you order from thier site www.EdibleAnus.com ( you just can’t make this shit up) you will receive anuses made of dark, milk and white chocolate. The smallest amount anus you can order is 5 boxes each containing 3 anuses. It will set you back about 60 USD.
Clearly…
I’m somewhat flabbergasted that there was a large enough demand for candy anus that a company would specialize in them – but in a world of Lolicocks and gummy boobs a chocolate anus doesn’t seem thatweird does it? Ok ,yes it does. Its plenty freaky lol. I wonder if some British bloke is misting himself with a little Vulva while rimming one of these coco assholes.
For a limited time they are offering a solid silver anus for the low low price of 250 pounds! I guess some people need a paper weight they can finger?
I was a little put off by this blurb from the site.
I guess if your serious about your genital shaped confections you can’t possibly settle for something made by some filthy Chinaman. I’m going to pass on ordering these I’ve got a perfectly edible smack-able chocolate ass of my own.
One of the products that stuck out in my mind the most from Exxxotica NY ’09 was the Blow Guard. The toy was designed by a real dentist who was there to personally tell explain his product.
The display featured not just some examples of the product which is a flexible mouth piece that has a removable vibrating bullet. It also had a loop of adult movies that featured the Blow Guard and let me tell you they were a great selling point. I found myself gazing at the screen and sighing. All I could think was… I want that. I want some mind numbing satisfaction. So as soon as I got home from the convention I went searching for the Blow Guard at my local sex shops. Sadly I couldn’t find them in North Jersey but they are available for $27.99 plus shipping and handling on the Blow Guard website.
The blow guard works simply men put the blow guard on the top of their mouths and women on the bottom and then the fun begins.
This is advertised as a toy for couples, and I agree whole heartedly – don’t whip out the blow guard and think you can pull off being sexy. This isn’t something to whip out on a fling or a one night stand. I don’t think I would feel comfortable enough using this thing on anyone other than BooBear. You have to be on an level of extreme trust and comfort with your partner. I’m talking the kind of relationship where cum bubbles are something to giggle over and one queef won’t stop the show. If you two can just laugh at one another and get a little silly this toy it for you.
I say this because you will never know drool until you have a vibrating mechanism in your mouth. This is great because you won’t really need the little pouch of sex tart lube that comes with the Blow Guard. What a godsend that extra spit is! When I first tried the lube I ended up running to the bathroom to wash my mouth out. The lube is super sweet and just unnatural tasting. It was almost vomit inducing nasty. Save the lube for anal because it already tastes like ass.
As for the device itself its fun for anyone who isn’t shy about sloppy blow jobs. BooBear happens to have a lot in the girth department so I found there really wasn’t enough room in my mouth for him and the blow guard . Even opening my mouth as much as I could there was little room and with all the saliva the blow guard wasn’t staying in place. I was a little afraid it was going to slip out of place and BooBear was going to accidentally send it down my throat with one good thrust.
BooBear enjoyed the vibration of the Blow Guard which is POWERFUL, more so than most bullets. The size of the bullet is misleading as to just how powerful the vibration is. Unfortunately this powerful vibration makes you feel a weird sort of numbness. I can see where this would be great for girls that don’t like sucking cock, when it comes to BooBear I love it. The Blow Guard might give a boost to your partners enjoyment but takes almost all of it away from the giver. For the ladies who loathe giving oral this is a blessing, you can literally just sit there and kinda move a bit and get your guy off. For us deep throat queens it might be an issue.
When it comes to oral sex on a woman this is really where the Blow Guard shines, its a great for stimulating the clit and keeping the gnashing teeth of an over excited but not very orally skilled lover from killing the mood.
Final verdict: Better on clits than dicks and only for couples that can keep it real and kinky at the same time.
For more info check out the official site: BlowGuard.com
One of the products I was really excited about from Exxxotica NY was the Blow Guard, its a handy little gadget that is designed to pleasure men and women. My brother just called me to tell me mine finally arrived in the mail. 😀 Hopefully me and Boobear can get together soon and test it out. If all goes well I’m going to have to pick up a few more vibrating bullets next time I’m at Romantic Depot. :3
I also wanted to say thank you to everyone that has been sending me emails. Right now I don’t have any pictures to send you but I’m working on getting some. Don’t miss the chance to see me in NYC for Hell-O-Ween Havoc.
I’ll be posting more of my Works In Progress (WIP) once I type them up, I have a hour and a half commute and I write on the train, sometimes I get a little lazy with typing. If you are angry about the lack of new stories feel free to get on my ass about it!
With VULVA original, the hilariously titled product can be purchased for about 1990 euros here. www.smellmeand.com ( get it?) . It seems like this is a not a cologne or a perfume, but a sexual aid. A gentleman or gentle lesbian can dab a drop on themselves to aid in “erotic fantasies”
I’m happy to hear this isn’t a new body scent trend, the last thing I want is to be walking around smelling pussy all day. I hope they don’t expand into dick scents. Can you imagine FORESKIN or maybe BALLS . That’s a world I don’t want to live in.
I grew up in a generation knowing that safe sex is the best sex, but there are many of my male counter parts that still need some convincing. Trojan condoms seemed to have made a solid effort to make condoms a little more fun, they packaged a condom with a vibrating cock ring.
I was excited to see that legitimate kink can now be bought at Target, but I couldn’t help but notice this product has its faults. The ring itself doesn’t actually do the job of a cock ring being super stretchy. I actually wore the thing as a bracelet for a few minutes.
I’m guessing this is supposed to be the fisher-price version of a cock-ring a “My First Cock Ring” which would explain its lax hold and weak vibration. I understand that the product is under 6 dollars and only is supposed to last 30 mins, but it barely vibrated at all. You’ll find yourself making an extra effort just trying to feel the thing.
What little vibration there is only really a thrill for the lady, the vibration translates poorly around the actual ring. My partner felt that it was more of a distraction than anything else. What was even more annoying was how the cock ring reacted to lube, it became a slippery mess.
I commend Trojan for trying to make safe sex fun, but this product fails as a vibrator and as a cock ring; considering the fact that this is a vibrating cock ring, that’s a pretty bad.
It’s almost 2011! I hope you guys are excited as I am , and not just because my celibacy will be up in two days. There’s going to be a lot of changes for BlasianBytch.com in the coming year and I hope you guys will have the patience to bear with me.
